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    Elevator 101

    By Icebeast | June 14, 2011

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    Hello Blog Reader,

    Today, I’m going to discuss how to properly use an elevator (lift for UK speakers).  I realize that all one of you probably already knows this, but in case this blog ever gets more readers, I felt I’d share this.  This won’t be a discussion of elevator basics, like not standing in front of the door so people can get off.  No, instead this will be a discussion of when and when not to use the elevator.

    First, if you have any form of physical disability, go ahead and use the elevator whenever you want.  This 101 class is not targeted to you and you are obviously an exception to all the rules.  The most obvious rule is, if you’re going up or down one floor, don’t take the damn elevator.  I work on the 11th floor of a 12 story building (technically the 12th floor of a 13 story building but for some reason building designers can’t count).  Nothing is more annoying than stopping at a floor, having someone get in, only to stop at the floor directly beneath them.  When going down, I often prefer the stairs since I don’t have to deal with this.  Unfortunately, going up 12 stories is a bit tiring.  So for the love of god, if you only want to travel 1 story, take the damn stairs.  I’d extend this to 2 stories but I figure that is to complicated for these people.

    The second important thing, which is related to the first, is don’t take the elevator if it is slower than the stairs.  In the parking garage I use, someone can get into the elevator simultaneously as I start on the stairs, I can go up 2 stories, and still beat them.  Don’t even get me started on going down.  In this case, you’re just lazy, since the elevator provides no other advantage.  A couple of stairs will be good for you.

    Finally, if you have kids, don’t let them press all the damn buttons.  I’m sorry, but if I’m staying at a 30 floor hotel, and my room is on floor 25, I really don’t want to stop on every floor between 1 and 25.  Keep your damn kids under control.  Keeping kids under control may be a subject for another rant soon.

    Anyway, I hope you all have learned when to use the elevator.

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    Topics: 101 Classes, Icebeast | 1 Comment »

    One Response to “Elevator 101”

    1. trevor Says:
      June 15th, 2011 at 11:34 pm

      stop complaining dude