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    Gold Digger

    By Sparky | May 7, 2008

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    What’s the point of mining for nose gold if you can’t share it with the townspeople?
    - Family Guy

    I suppose that was the reasoning of a fine chap I recently had the pleasure of noticing on the train yesterday. A mid-fifties professional middle management dude with a spare tire around his waist and a full white beard was sitting a few rows down from me, depositing some mindless drivel into his cell phone. After he hung up, I ceased my relentless and highly ineffective glaring campaign and stared off at the scenery racing past the train along with precious minutes of my life. When I glanced back at him, I saw that he had begun a new pastime. He had begun spelunking in his nose, exploring the deep caverns, perhaps hoping to find where he left his watch the last time he had visited the nose garden.

    Proper Picking Technique
    This friendly looking Santa was knuckle deep in his nose. With his thumb. Thumbs should not fit in nostrils.

    Anyway, having successfully found his watch, Santa began retracting his digit from the depths. He glanced passively at his thumb once it had been rescued, and then proceeded to lick up the chunky booger he had prospected. Staring vacantly off into space, he chewed that booger thoughtfully, then he went looking for more.

    I’m not particularly grossed out by much. Gore can get my stomach churning, and I don’t particularly like baby poop. Or babies. But for whatever reason, the pleasure that this man was taking from his nose nuggets was definitely disturbing. His wife will probably wonder why he’s not hungry for dinner.

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    Topics: Rants, Sparky | 1 Comment »

    One Response to “Gold Digger”

    1. Icebeast Says:
      May 7th, 2008 at 8:33 pm

      I will point out that you probably ingest more mucus when you’re sick then this guy does mining for gold in a year.